3 cheers for new years

In my entire 19 years of existence, I have never invested feelings on anyone who I knew I didn't have a chance with. Somehow, with you, I could say "There's always a first time."

Still here

One day, I should get back my zest over happy blogging. I usually just tend to do it either when I'm pissed, angry or depressed. Someone bring me flowers and a box of cloud nine.

I oversurf when I'm depressed

I have to rant! AGH I haven't checked my mail in a while and now I pay the price. I wanted to log on to my YM and was having troubles. I was too lazy to figure out what was wrong so I just went ahead and sent a change password email to my other account. When I open my inbox, I see an email from my counselor. It was dated Oct 15th. Blood rushed out of my face upon recovering memories of noting that date on my organizer in BOLD letters. The email said that the deadline for my Admission Guaranteed Form was only until 11:59 of that day. HOLYCOW. It's the only sure and convenient thing in my transfer stress process and I can't )*(&^% believe I forgot. So now I'm still here, blogging when I shouldn't be. Feeling really down, when I shouldn't be. :(

Nerd you herd

HA! I just found out that my 1st homework for Java Programming class is not due till 10pm this Friday! Holy Cow! I just turned in mine 6 days, 23 hours, 40 minutes early. Yes, you heard me -more or less a week early! You'd think that it's because I'm so over procrastination -but it's a bit of misunderstanding. I was looking at the wrong week of my planner and so I also semi studied for my BIO exam which I thought was this Wednesday. HA! YEY! It feels good to be early.

I never really liked the pressure of being last minute, but it's only that pressure that keeps me from doing other things that require less work. GAH

For the first four sessions of CIS 182 class, I never listened nor took notes. Programming is not my thing, plus we had computers with internet and a teacher who didn't care if we youtubed, or facebooked or even down right played poker while he monotoned the slides away. Basically, I knew nothing besides the little knowledge I had left from Senior year C++ class. So, last Friday I woke up knowing I had homework due 10pm that night. I started at 7pm and I crammed 9 hours of lessons in two hours and downloaded 3 softwares that I had no idea how to use. I had one hour left to make sense of the things I read and to my luck, at exactly 9:58, it all becomes clear. I get it two minutes before deadline. I hurried to the best of my ability and finished by 10:20. I felt bitter for being that close to making it but somehow accomplished to have at least been able to make two programs that actually worked.

And today I found out in class it's not due until September 4th. AHH relief!

Woah, so this is how it feels.

xxx

My favorite kind

come and sway my way*
Miss me, Darling
Let's be a cliche
-Nikki Malvar (youtube.com/babyporridge)

There are too many mediocre things in life- love should not be one of them.

Now more than ever, I'd love to have my very own metal detector

You know what i hate more than losing things?

--having to look for them. Right now, I'd pick studying for my Astronomy finals again than having to look for my keys. I lose things. I lose things a whole lot. So I'm not new in this whole "tracing back my steps" technique. I've lost my keys thrice in the two months that I've had them (and I mean lost and having to look for them for more than an hour). I'd give up 1 whole day of the bare 3-day-vacation I have in exchange for them to have a ringer so I could just call (even if it's on vibrate, i could use a little nudge). I've tried everywhere, even in places where it shouldn't be. In my bags, dad's toolbox, the fridge, my back pocket, even in my sister's shoe boxes, not one trace of the sacred door-opening-mail-receiving iron apparatus. Losing keys to your house feels like an itch on your sole while you're wearing boots- it can drive you mad. I've given an ample lot of what's left of my study time replaying the last time I got a hold of it and it is to no avail. But then I had a sudden stroke of genius and this theory came to me- someone must have crawled up our porch last night and took it for my misery. Damn you.

Well blaming someone else feels so much better.
(I just noticed, I'm becoming a fan of the parenthesis)
HA.

Snail Mail is Awesome

Who in this world is sure anyway?

The only ones I could salvage from the accident

Getting over it

I could remember that this was the problem I told everyone in my small sharing group during my senior retreat two years ago. Until now, I have a hard time getting over it. "It" could mean an embarrassing reply to a waiter to serious issues like in relationships. I hate the fact that I do this all the time. Once, me and my mom ate at a Thai restaurant and I told the waitress to give us 2o minutes to order. Then my mom went "No sorry about that, just give us a minute." HAHA Who in the world needs 20 minutes to order from a 3 page menu. After that scenario I couldn't look at the waitress, I was too embarrassed. I should know that she serves more than 20 people in a day and she doesn't really care about what just happened, but thats just me. I refused to give her my order and instead just let my mom do it. HAHA That's just plain weird, I know.

I'm on this subject cause today is CLUB INFO DAY. It's a day where all the clubs have booths near the canteen to recruit new members. And yes, 4 hours after this scenario, I'm still fis*in not over it. It pertaining to one conversation(more like unconversation) that happened during the event. So yeah. I should get over it.

HAHA

Hey I made the club logo :)

Maybe it's just me.

Wow maybe I thought wrong eh?

I'm permanently black and blue, permanently.

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

and honestly, yes I did. :)

Page Cannot Be Displayed

Let's go and ask the Cosmos:

Internet connection that may get off to a slow start.
Internet connection that may take some time for it to get off the ground.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by,
I can make believe that you're here tonight,
That you're here tonight.

My Momma Loves Me

Currently I'm in our living room surfing the internet. Being this close to the television, I can't help but over hear what my dad is watching. Aaand since it's my dad at night --TFC. HAHA He's watching one of my favorites, "Anak" with Vilma Santos. Aaagh I can't help but cry every time I intently watch this film because indeed I can relate. Well, more like I've been through that situation. Thank God I'm with my parents now. I never fail to thank God every single day for this reality in my current life.

In a particular excerpt, Duday, (7 years old) the youngest among her children, trick her into removing a bowl over a plate (supposed to be food that she cooked) that had a frog under it. Vilma scolded Duday and then she started laughing. This irritated Vilma more and she came about asking what was so funny. This was what the little girl said:

"Sabi kasi nang teacher ko pag pinapagalitan ka nang nanay mo ibig sabihin mahal ka niya"
It's because my teacher told me that if you are being scolded by your mom it only means that she loves you.

During the weekend, I got another sermon marathon from my mom. I never like it when that happens. Yeah, who does? But I really believe that she just wants me to be a good person. I also believe that it helped me a lot. In my opinion, I think that I AM better than who I was before I got here. It just has to be good enough for them to see it more clearly. I love my mom very much because I cannot put in words how much she's done and how patient she is with me. I don't want her getting frustrated again so even though I know I tried, I will try harder.

Let's get lost together!

A continuation..

At first, I was actually too lazy to even do this "part 2". But I realized how I had 2 other posts on which I promised to have a "part 2" but never ended up doing so. Since 2009 is my year, ( i declare! haha) I'm gonna stick to my word.

Awesome Adventures And Amazing Places
(HAHA WATEVER DINNA. HAHAHA)

A couple of times I went to places not knowing how to get there. (with friends who don't have cars, it's always an adventure!) I'm in college -that makes me at least smart enough to read, ask and analyze a map. Commuting is so much fun here- well at least for me. I get a thrill out of the possibility of getting lost. HAHA Some people think it's weird, but I feel like it's an exercise of independence and common sense.

Dec 23 '08
Little Tokyo, Los Angeles.
Bus: Dash A (Flower/7th)
aww. I only had one photo of this day and I lost it. aww :'(
Went here with my friend, Runi. Fell in love with the place right away. What I fancied the best was a little store we went in that had traditional Japanese Stuff (for the lack of a better term). It was the best place that I thought best represented Little Tokyo because of the Japanese Staff and the crowded space (over hearing conversations in Japanese and not understanding one bit XD) I felt like I wasn't in LA for some reason I do not know. Also we found inside a mall a dim lighted arcade! Felt so much like home! HAHA Great Day! :)

Dec 29 '08
Pasadena Skating Rink, Pasadena
Train: Metro Red Line, Metro Gold Line

WORSE THAN HEELS! UGH! HAHA

previous post!

Dec 30 '08
Little Tokyo, Los Angeles
Bus: Dash A

for the lack of a more decent photo, I present a blurred one!

The first time I went here, I saw a Videoke Place that had the latest songs! From Estelle's "American Boy" to Regina Spektor's "The Call"-- they had everything! So I had to go back! With my fellow frustrated singer friends, we were off to take the place by storm! HAHA We ALMOST got lost. We missed our stop because of too much story telling, good thing the bus passes by the mall twice. :P

Jan 5 '08
Hannah's, Hacienda Heights
Bus: Metro 780

the vest monday!

2 hour bus ride to Hacienda Heights with none other than the Metro Princess- PAM. One of the best hang out's we've ever had even though we stayed inside Hannah's room the whole time. We bonded this day and I always love thath. Me and Pam came all the way here to have our secret santa exchange gifts "party". WE LAUGHED A LOT AND DANCED TOO HAHA Hannah both gave us vests- that's whats up with the name. HAHA I love youu gurlss :)

Jan 6'08
Everywhere, Pasadena
Train & Metro

Walking, talking& commuting is happiness. HAHA I'm easy to please. :)

Jan 9 '08
Alamitos Bay Beach, Long Beach
Bus: Long Beach 112

We were supposed to visit Hannah again this day, but since one of our not-so-friend-now-friend stood us up- we ended up just staying here at LB and take pretty pictures! I love your spontaneity Pamela! Oooh Fall is just awesome for pictures :)

The best days I say because I got to know people more during this vacation from school. I got to spend time with my family and my friends and forget about being in college for a sec! If I look at my life a year ago, right now's pretty rad relatively. I'm happy to have friends here cause it makes life a lot easier to go through. This may not be anywhere close to my life back home, but it's turning out to be great as well. :)

I'm still Alive, apparently

Today is the last official day of winter break. Come Monday, pasukan na ulit. Shet. I can't believe it, yun na ba yung 3 weeks kooo? Pero I have to say, sobrang buto't balat simot sarap! Sumobra ata nang konti ang pag gala ko at napakakonting productive accomplishment ang maipagyayabang ko. Pero I have to say, the past 3 weeks wasn't so bad. Oh wait, it wasn't so bad because it was one of the best days of my life here in California. Di lang ako nag enjoy nang sobra sobra kundi na discover ko na din na marami palang meaning ang happiness.

Nung finals week ko ay naglista na ako nang mga gusto kong gawin sa 22 days of freedom that I'm going to have after Thursday,Dec 18. Isa sa mga almost success stories ko ay ang pagpost nang mga albums sa multiply ko. Sa 5 albums, 1 lang ang na post ko! HAHANagtampo na siguro sa akin ang multiply kasi hindi ko maayos ang order nang pictures ko NO MATTER WHAT I DO. Badtrip. Isa din sa mga almost success stories ko ay ang pagnood nang at least 5 movies from my long must watch movie list. Napanood ko ang Forgetting Sarah Marshall sa bahay nila Pam through pay per view. Ako ay nagulat sa mga na expose na body parts at sa mga kakaibang sex positions na nakita nang mga inosente kong mga mata. HAHA Napanood ko din ang The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with Ate Sam sa movie house. Isa siyang weird situation sa real world kaya sobrang nakakacurious. Ang galing din nang effects sobra. Isipin mo napagkasya nila ang features ni Brad Pitt sa 3 foot tall body. Napanood ko din ang The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian. Ugh nakakainis si Caspian, sobrang and dami niyang katangahan sa movie nakakainis. Mataas pa naman ang expectations ko sa kanya. Ayy.

Isa din sa mga accomplishment ko ay ang paggamit nang Holga ko! Yey! Nabili ko to over a year ago nung naentice ako nang lomography na subukan eto. Nung first try ko sobrang panget nang mga kinalabasan dahil di ko nilagay yung frame sa loob (dahil sa mga advice na nakita ko sa youtube! Egh! Doesn't work) Sobrang almost all of the pictures, iba yung other half sa the rest of the picture. After nun ay na discourage na ako. Tapos isang araw, naghahanap ako nang makakain sa refrigerator at nakita ko ang mga films ko! So naisipan kong why not! So yeah, excited na ako sa kinalabasan nang prints! May frame na this time! Sana Okay!

Photo by: Pamela Santiago

Taken sa park (Jan 8, 2009) by the beach dito sa aking lupang tinitirahan the past few months, Long Beach. Sobrang ganda nang park these days dahil sa mga falling leaves. HUWAW.

At yun na ang katapusin sa crossed off part of my list. Eto na yung mga indefinitely na kung kela ko magagawa:
-Photoshop!
-- ayy sobrang tagal ko nang di napagbigyan ang hobby na to. Nakalimutan ko ang ibang keyboard shortchuts. HUWA. Geek
-Customize Ipod
-- sobrang walang laman dahil nareformat T_T Walang applications at ang mga songs ko ay hindi nakacapitalize ang iba sobrang nakaka OC. Arrrr.
--Make Tribute Videos
--sobrang tagal ko na din to plano. Nasasayangan kasi ako sa sobrang daming pictures na ako lang nageenjoy. So I want to share. But I guess people will have to wait. :(
--Print Highschool Pictures
-- nung nakita ko ang mga old pictures ko nung 2nd year highschool pa ako with my film camera, sobrang nakakatuwa pala yung nahahawakan mo talaga! At dahil 4 gig din ang highschool photos ko gusto kong ilagay sa album kahit 100 photos laang :D

On the brighter side of this post, I had the grandest time! Sobrang dami kong nadiscover ngayong break na to.

Isa na dun ay ang pag iiceskating! (Dec 29,2008)
Ganito Lang Yun:
Step 1:
Wag ma discourage. Isipin mong kaya mo!

Step 2:
Try to balance.
Step 3:
Stand! Be Merry! Sabi ko naman sayo eh!


Step 4:
Most Importantly--Pose! HAHA
Step 5:
Step on Ice! Make friends! Enjoy! Fall, Stand, Balance, Hold ON!

Nag Ice skating ako with Pam, Angel, Reichelle, Hannah & Friends(Alexis, Roy, Jeric, Nero, Augie) sa Pasadena! Rode the Metro Gold Line for the first time- indeed I was amazed. The view was breathtaking dahil sa bukid side of town na to. Trees that are filled with the colors of Fall is the reason behind this fascination. Ang Metro Red Line nang LA kasi underground at and Blue Line naman nang Long Beach ay hindi naman gaanong amazing ang view dahil puro mga bahay at building. Kakaiba ang Gold Line kasi bago kaya sobrang linis pa. Mmm sarap plus the fact na hindi kasing crowded nang Red or Blue Line.

Sobrang nagenjoy talaga ako nung araw na to plus I got to meet new people :) Hannah's friends and Reichelle, one of our batchmates who just moved to CA as well. I still have my fingers crossed and wishing for more to come.

I still have so many stories to share pero siguro sa next post na lang. Sobrang haba na kasi nito and I still have so many things to do in the real world. I would like to immortalize these memories by writing them down here.

But before I go, about the happiness that I was talking about in the beggining of this post-- well, I knew this all along and said it a couple of times to some people who asked me what my meaning of it was. I said "Happiness is a choice". I always knew it but it's just now that I feel that I truly believe it. Parang sobrang tagal ko nang namiss ang feeling na yun dahil nung lumipat na ako dito, feeling ko parang ang laking portion nang pagkatao ko ang nawala sa akin. Pero ngayon, more than ever, na realize ko how much I have to be thankful for. Therefor I have every reason to smile and thank God for the life I'm living now. Sobra sobra dahil sa pamilya ko, sa brighter future ko (now that I'm putting more effort into it) at sa mga bagong kaibigan na nagbigay nang more and more reason to smile these days.

"Every minute you spend upset is 60 seconds of happiness you can't get back"

3 cheers for make up

Drowning in oblivion
In every way irrelevant
I seek reason
Utter words of despair
and to be heed not
I seek love
I endeavor to find
The one Mr. Ree
yet I have failed, once again.

:-(

i want to go home, right now.

Pick me, choose me, love me.

"I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like
your taste of music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio
over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate
you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."
--Meredith Grey "Greys Anatomy Season 2 Ep 5"

Grey's Anatomy is really starting to get to me. :)